Some day our Nation will come to its senses by allowing marriage equality to be a universal right. On the path to this anticipated hope, already some individuals, groups, and Christian denominations have made strong statements against political supporters of same-sex marriage. Soon after President Obama declared his well-reasoned support of equality, social media outlets became a madhouse for both sides of the debate. On their Facebook page and website, my religion of origin the Assemblies of God boldly announced their disapproval of our President’s statement. Even during the casual discussion stage, before any Federal actions have been taken, opponents are showing their unwillingness to be a part of the discussion except to make declarative statements. At the same time proponents see nothing but hatred in the eyes of our adversaries, so relatively few brave individuals and organizations undertake the dirty work of building bridges.
Recently, Illinois State Gov. Pat Quinn has indicated a potential next step to legalize marriage equality, a year after signing Civil Unions into law. In the “Land of Lincoln,” there have been pockets of outspoken disapproval for both measures. Meanwhile, some states have joyfully banned recognition of any type of same-sex union or marriage. Several months after North Carolina passed Amendment 1, the image of celebrants cutting a wedding cake lingers in my mind as a symbol of homophobia, pure hatred, and a brazen victory dance over the defeated minority. The task of reconciliation between both sides has yet to find common ground.
While religious and political proponents have rallied for equality, opponents have been building contingents prepared to fight Federal recognition at all costs. During his run for presidency, Rick Santorum vowed to die on Capitol Hill to ensure that same-sex couples could never receive equal treatment under the law. For many, this “issue” not only threatens “traditional marriage,” but also the stability of our Nation. The prospect of redefining marriage terrifies those who apparently don’t feel safe – whether in their own relationships and communities, in the idea of homosexuality, or both. Somehow, those acting as if they’re terrified, believe legalizing marriage equality will lead to all sorts of evils such as bestiality and pedophilia. Personally, having grown up in farm country, it was the “straight men” who were often caught sexually violating livestock. Also, it was a straight male who sexually molested me as a child. So, as a lesbian in a same-sex relationship, I have a difficult time believing marriage equality will lead to such evils among the LGBT community that already exist in the straight community.
Sometimes I miss being a part of the Assemblies of God. Significant spiritual experiences for me occurred while involved in my home church. Since “coming out” to my family, I’ve visited my home church once – as a single person. Years later, I’ve changed. My appearance no longer conforms to A/G community standards. If I were to attend a service with my partner, I cannot imagine the consequences. Would someone aware of my orientation and relationship ask us to leave the service, or would they welcome us but take the opportunity to preach against our “lifestyle”? Thinking about such things terrifies me in the same way homosexuality terrifies certain opponents. Once I was a welcomed part of their community. Now I am a dangerous stranger even though I am essentially the same person who worked in several areas of lay ministry, had fellowship with others, and spent numerous occasions at the altar praying and receiving prayer. Although we follow the same Jesus, I am no longer a member of their body of Christ – a body not belonging to any particular denomination but to Jesus alone. Yet, I am willing to engage in uncomfortable conversations as a pathway to reconciliations (to be a peacemaker).
Both sides of the discussion, if it can be called as such, have more valleys separating than bridges connecting the two. The day same-sex marriage becomes Federally recognized will be the moment all relatively polite disagreements turn into fierce war zones. Instead of venting on social media sites, stormtroopers will descend on every political and legal arena to “fight the good fight,” in the same way pro-lifers have been fighting against Roe v. Wade since day one of its favorable ruling. We’ve already seen battle preparations as various organizations have protested against private corporations for supporting equality. Those protests against JCPenney’s ads featuring Ellen DeGeneres are mild in comparison to full-blown battles already exemplified by pro-lifers who’ve marched from nearby communities to Capitol Hill, and the few extremists who went as far as to bomb abortion clinics. Will extremists bomb gay-friendly businesses, restaurants, and bars? How many “pro-straighters” will march bearing signs in protest, from nearby communities to Capitol Hill?
If we pay attention to the past, in some ways we can predict future actions of the religious / political right once same-sex marriage becomes Federally recognized. Without a doubt, our society will become contentiously chaotic. Knowing this, both sides need to be prepared for a long, drawn-out cultural war. Those who are peacemakers as Jesus has called all of His followers to be, regardless of their position on marriage equality, have the opportunity now to engage in uncomfortable conversations. Reconciling differences never occurs passively or hastily. Regardless of our stance on this so-called issue, for the sake of peace and unity, we need to set aside our weapons of religious / political war, sit down at the table of fellowship, and seek understanding of one another as a means of building bridges.
“Tubwayhun lahwvday shlama dawnaw(hie) dalaha nitqarun. (language is Aramaic) ‘Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.’”
I love this post and I really admire what you’re doing. There absolutely need to be tolerant people who are willing to have the uncomfortable conversations, to push through the rhetoric and the prejudice and strive to build bridges. I want to be a part of that conversation.
That said, I want to be forthcoming and say that I stand with the Catholic bishops on this issue. But the Church’s position, properly understood and presented, has nothing to do with hate. This dialogue has become so heated and so angry on both sides. If I speak out in opposition to gay marriage in any way, I’m immediately labeled a hater and a homophobe. And I’m so not. I will ardently defend my gay friends from hateful speech and prejudice and action in every way that I can. I absolutely condemn people who celebrate “victories” in which nobody really wins at all.
I’m not going to be that guy who comes to your blog and leaves judgmental or condemnatory comments or calls to “repent!” or any such — I know you have heard all of that before. If you ever want to talk about that, I am always glad to do that in a nonjudgmental and loving way. If you ever want to talk about the Catholic Church’s positions and reasoning, I am glad to do that too. I want to stand with you and be a part of your conversations in any way that I can, with a voice of Christ’s love, even though I disagree. I absolutely want to welcome you into the Body of Christ — we are sinners all, and I pray that He can help us sort out this mess we’ve gotten human society into.
Thank you Joseph for your thoughtful and heartfelt response.
I’ve been pondering a reply for the past couple of hours. To a significant extent, I agree with you regarding the mislabeling of those who believe homosexuality is a sin (either orientation alone, homosexual behavior, or both) as haters and homophobes. Once having the mindset of a compassionate Evangelical Christian who often prayed to see people through the eyes of Christ, I totally understand the compelling desire to snatch individuals from the flames of Hell. To me, in most cases, this desire is based on love for God and love for one another.
The world and others who have been spiritually wounded by well-meaning Believers do not understand this mindset. It’s easy to perceive opposition as an attack. The ironic part, one side fights for the freedom to love whom they desire while the other side fights because they love those who want the freedom to love.
Of course there are exceptions, as segments of so-called Christians knowingly say and do harm against the LGBT community. Unfortunately, both groups are seen as one – so no matter the intention, speaking against homosexuality will always be labeled as hatred and homophobia.
I have experienced this dynamic as an Evangelical insider, as a beloved daughter, and as an object of willful bigotry.
The thought that keeps coming to mind is a story of conflict between Peter (Cephas) and Paul regarding hypocrisy, the Law, and a form of bigotry (Galatians 2:11-21). Paul strongly reprimanded Peter, the chosen foundation of the Church, not only for re-identifying with the Jews (living according to their beliefs), but also requiring Gentile believers of Christ to follow certain Jewish customs.
I love Peter for his constant instability, and I love that Jesus chose Peter to be the foundation – this further demonstrates God’s use of broken vessels to accomplish His will. In other words, our Perfect God loves imperfect people, calls us into relationship knowing our imperfections, and works for, in, and through us in spite of our weaknesses. Peter, a Jesus insider, knew better than to act as he did. Paul as an outsider to the group Peter came from, opposed him “to his face.” The scene of this must have been wildly dramatic!
The ironic part, Peter was commissioned to preach the Gospel of reconciliation through grace while Paul, a former scholar and master follower of the Law, not only reprimanded Peter but also took the situation as an opportunity to teach others about righteousness found only in believing God (acting upon faith in Jesus) and not based upon obedience to the Law.
Even then, the Early Church in its infancy faced conflict – whether it was due to differing interpretations of Scripture, living out a faith which did not come with step-by-step instructions, or combining diametrically opposed communities (Jews and Gentiles) who both needed to learn new ways of being.
Two thousand plus years later, we (the Church) are echoing the conflicts of the Early Church over similar issues. Again, the scene of this has been wildly dramatic!
I believe the only way the Church will successfully muddle through “the issue of homosexuality” is by returning to the basics of faith and living according to the Spirit alive in us. Otherwise, this on-going conflict may never end peacefully.
Thanks. I’m so glad you understand that. I’ve had so many people tell me I was full of it when I tried to explain it that way.
I think the bottom line is love. Love you neighbor as yourself. Love your enemy. Jesus is all about radical, relentless love that overpowers all prejudice and fear and hate. As Rich Mullins put it, God’s love is a “reckless, raging fury.” So many Christians don’t understand that. I am saddened that there are so many churches that reject gay people or make them feel unwelcome. I think some follow Paul’s advice in 1 Corinthians 5; but homosexuality is really a different problem, in that having those inclinations is not something the believer can really control. In your most recent poll, I was the one who said the church should welcome the person, but make it clear what the church teaches — love the person, but not condone the behavior. So many people say “love the sinner, hate the sin,” but then go right on being hateful to the person anyway.
Using Christ name to defend homosexuality which God condemns is blasphemous and heresy. Peace is Christ. Not accepting immorality is peace. Christ died for peace and was murdered for it. People will lay down their lives for what is right and beyond culture war is war. Christ promised peace and is the ultimate peace maker. He promised peace and promised to utterly destroy evil and cast the wicked into hell. You must consider Christ words carefully when you are trying to deceive people into homosexuality. Christ makes himself very clear that he will return in full power and glory.
Hi. I’m somewhat confused by the appearance of your avatar, for it does not seem to fit the comment you posted. Please explain.
Also, before I respond to the specific details in your comment, I’m curious to know if it is possible to have a respectfully mutual discussion or if you are simply expressing your opinion without need / desire for rebuttal or feedback.
Everyone has the right to have their own personal beliefs, values, and opinions – even if there’s conflict among the people involved in discussion. I am more than willing to exchange ideas, without any expectations except for mutual respect.
Peace to you.