Thou Shalt Not Commit Soul Suicide

A personal reflection on Romans chapter 8 (The Voice; version).


In the post Is the term “ex-gay” offensive?, before I reconciled my faith and sexuality, I used this picture (source unknown) to illustrate my feelings. I was grieving over the idea of having to give up intimacy with a woman in order to do what I thought was necessary to please God. This picture was very symbolic of my mourning process, a way of saying goodbye to a “soul to soul” connection.

Intimacy is a God-given gift. Those who have experienced the intensity of a soul to soul connection know how traumatic it is to become separated, and how difficult and terrifying it can be to develop a new love. Soul connections are not limited to romantic relationships, but can be found in friendships as well.

Being gay, at least for me (I cannot speak for every LGBTQ person), is so much more than the act of sex. My orientation affects how I relate to men and women, how I interact with my environment and interpret the world around me. In my opinion, one’s sexual orientation is inseparable from one’s personality – one’s soul. To deny one’s sexual orientation or gender identity in order to please God or others is the equivalent of soul suicide.

The Bible talks about dying to the flesh (Romans 8:13). Straight Christians who declare non-heterosexuals are similar to alcoholics, thieves, murderers, rapists, pedophiles, etc., do not realize acts of the flesh (the sinful nature) are symptoms of not being in Christ. Sin is a symptom, not an identity. Sexuality and gender are elements of identity, not symptoms of the sinful nature.

As a Christian, I believe in being holy as Christ is holy (1 Peter 1:13-16, The Voice). I believe in practicing self-control and other spiritual disciplines. However, I do not believe in soul suicide. Furthermore, I do not think Christ advocates for soul suicide either.

Therefore, now no condemnation awaits those who are living in Jesus the Anointed, the Liberating King, because when you live in the Anointed One, Jesus, a new law takes effect. The law of the Spirit of life breathes into you and liberates you from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:1-2, The Voice).


These are the thoughts of a Christian. Rainbow Unbroken is not a Christian-only community (see F.A.Q.). If you practice another faith or philosophy, then we invite you to express your beliefs in blog posts and forums. To participate, please see information regarding community membership.


About Suzanne Coleman

Mid-Atlantic U.S. born and raised, now living in Chicago. Not the typical housewife. Background in biblical and theological studies, multicultural education, and liberal arts. Interests include travel, photography, listening to all kinds of music, watching movies and documentaries, writing, and similar things. Suzanne identifies as a Christian, a lesbian, and cisgender female. She believes labels are both helpful and harmful, as they don't always accurately represent the embodiment of unique qualities. Blog topics generally include Christianity, issues affecting the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community, reconciling, and developing skills helpful for living in a multicultural world.
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